Self-esteem: It’s all in our head

Let’s start with a question: is self-esteem dependent on the results we get, or how do we see and interpret the results we get?

To answer, let’s take an example. Consider wanting to pass an exam. Then study and prepare yourself to get ready for the appointment and surpass it exceedingly. The day of examination comes and there are a thousand fears that we are called. At that point your examiner, quieter than we expected, makes us ask his questions. Examination is overcome with lots of votes.

At this point, we should feel good, be happy and have gained more security in us. There’s nothing left to celebrate success! But for many, something goes wrong. Exiting the exam session, still a little stunned, here are some thoughts that nothing should have to do with the result achieved. So begins that mental voice full of judgments telling us that “fortunately it has gone well”; that “I do not know how I did to pass it”; that “if I should do it again I would not pass it” … and whoever puts it any more.

Self-esteem

Talking about self – esteem means going to touch the “system files” of a person. It is far from the approach that each of us has with ourselves and is so important to determine all the choices we will make in our lives. To believe in oneself, to have the ability to accept and start from there, to have faith in one’s own abilities is a real dowry. There are those who find it (blessed him) without knowing how and who should work to build it. The fact is that you can learn how to work on self-esteem, how to nurture self-confidence, how to handle failures and build successes.

Charisma

Not least is the personal charisma. Another dowry that can make a difference in different areas, from work to personal. Charismatic people are self-confident, they know the values that guide their lives and transmit that sense of solidity that attracts others as a magnet. Are you born or become charismatic? Both. Some of us are born and others are working on it to become it. The charisma is the consequence of an awareness of what is to be combined with a style of behavior that leaves the mark in others.

Leadership

What about leadership? The leader leads others, as an example, inspires confidence. Leadership and charisma are not the same, but they are closely linked, such as the right hand and the left. Unlike the boss that imposes, the leader has followers, people who follow him because they want because they trust, precisely. Again, the leader’s talents can be learned.

Emotions

Finally emotions. Here a world is opened for us all, since people are emotional and not right. Fear, joy, sadness, anger, surprise, disdain, disgust, shame, anxiety, envy, jealousy, hope and we could continue. Let’s try it, I’m part of us, but how many do you really know? How many people can interact with them instead of suffocating them?

Is our self-esteem increased?

Can we now say that after our examination our self-esteem has increased? Can we say that we have nourished with this success our own love and our personal perception of the value we express and of the potential we have (self-esteem, precisely)? No not at all. Sometimes afterwards it was even worse. For some, even the so-called “syndrome of the poster” has appeared: “Fortunately, I did not realize I was not prepared” …

So what can we conclude, that self-esteem is tied to what we do, to what happens to us, or to the interpretation we give to things. What really can nourish self-esteem is the perception that it is of itself, of its value. A success can be experienced as a goal and can be celebrated (even with small symbolic gestures, such as a good coffee or cream canisters) but still celebrated.

We will learn how to cultivate self-esteem, how to change the approach from which to see and things, how to improve the relationship with oneself and the feeling of inadequacy or excessive judgment that often accompanies many of us, preventing them from enjoying the achievements and motivating themselves towards new goals.

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